She let out a long sigh and tried very hard to stifle the sobs beginning to well up in her. She covered her face with her hands and propped it on her elbows. She felt so alone, and in the hotel room, there wasn't very much to comfort her.
She'd run away from home, and checked into this hotel not knowing where else to go. She dared not go home in case that beast of a man would still be lurking around the house.
The bruises have started to heal, but she would break down in tears every time she saw them in the mirror.
And in her hotel room, she felt afraid of going out, so she stayed in the room all day. She did step out the first time, but seeing people down the hall began to frighten her and it became too much for her to bear. Her frightened mind began to imagine each man she saw to be him and her heart would beat so hard out of fear she would not be able to breathe.
At night, she would be engulfed in the loneliness, being in the cold, cold bed alone, wishing for the company of the one person who could make her feel better. He'd been calling a few times and the relief in hearing his voice was far too much for her to bear, and she would hang up in a gush of sobs, unable to say a word. But he had since stopped calling, and bitterness began to fill her.
And she cowered in a corner of the room in fear every time she hears voices outside, trying to conceal her sobs and not make a sound, lest should it be him to come looking once again ready to rain blows on her.
"This is the room, sir" said the manager. He looked nervously at the security guards and at the stranger in front of him. "Once again I wish to remind you that the safety of our guests is of our utmost concern and that it is against our policy to divulge information of our guests"
The stranger looked at the manager and with a tinge of impatience said,"I assure you, that this is genuine, and that it would do your reputation no good if you do not heed me." And he reached out and rang the door bell, and waited.
The doorbell pierced the silence in the room and she dashed into the corner. He's found her! She cowered in the corner, arms around her knees, shaking with fear and rocking herself to and fro to calm herself. She tried to not cry, but the tears blurred her vision as the door bell rang and rang. And she tried very hard to muffle her sobs as she heard the voices outside get more agitated; and she heard the key being turned in the lock and the door straining against the chain. Suddenly the door burst open and she screamed as the light from outside burst in the darkened room, blinding her.
And she did not know how long she screamed as she felt a pair of arms come around her and held her tight, a voice began to form words in her ears.
And she tried to struggle, but to no avail, and she gave up and burst into a torrent of sobs as she realized it was the comforting voice she had been longing for; and those hands, running through her hair and stroking her back, were the warm ones that gave her the comfort when she always needed.
The stranger sat on the floor and cradled her head on his shoulders and stroked her gently as he motioned to the hotel manager and guards away.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Fury
She sat at the edge of the bed, hunched over with her knees to her face. In her arms she cradled her teddy bear, her only companion that knew everything in her heart. She pressed her bear against the tear that rolled down her cheek, the softness on her skin giving her comfort. Painfully, she pulled herself off the bed and staggered to the bathroom. She gave out a wail and crumpled to the floor, shuddering and sobbing when she saw herself in the mirror. She held her teddy bear even harder against her, as if the softness would make the pain go away, and she cried and continued to cry until she could cry no more.
He regularly went away for weeks on end, and every time he'd gone, she'd feel a sense of relief and freedom. He was great company in the beginning but in recent months had been somewhat overbearing. And with his frequent long absence, someone else began to fill her heart, from colleagues to friend, to companion and to lover. And guilt began gnaw at her heart as his occasional presence began to drain her feelings for him.
He had come home unannounced, and screamed for her. He'd been drinking, and amidst the foul stench of his alcohol laden breath he had accused her of cheating him. cheating! She tried to explain, but he cut her off at every pause with a string of abusive names. She cowered in fear knowing that this tempest was the biggest yet, and she soaked the abuse quietly, huddled in the corner of her room hoping that is would pass as always.
This time though, her silence fueled the anger and it exploded into a fury she had never thought possible. She hadn't realized she was screaming as blow against blow came upon her, until everything blacked out, and he stormed out of the house.
She couldn't remember how long it was before she came to, but her vision was blurred and was interspersed with a sensation of a million flashlights going off at once.
Painfully, she dragged herself out of the bathroom, pausing on the floor at the door frame. She recognized bits and pieces of her phone on the floor which she assembled with shaking hands and dialled a now familiar number. The voice that answered comforted her as always and she tried to sound strong to say she needed the day off.
She knew her voice gave her away this time, and he asked,"Are you alright? You don't sound too good,".
She tried to say,"I'm fine", but the moment overwhelmed her as her pain racked body began to shudder and sobs began to take over..
He regularly went away for weeks on end, and every time he'd gone, she'd feel a sense of relief and freedom. He was great company in the beginning but in recent months had been somewhat overbearing. And with his frequent long absence, someone else began to fill her heart, from colleagues to friend, to companion and to lover. And guilt began gnaw at her heart as his occasional presence began to drain her feelings for him.
He had come home unannounced, and screamed for her. He'd been drinking, and amidst the foul stench of his alcohol laden breath he had accused her of cheating him. cheating! She tried to explain, but he cut her off at every pause with a string of abusive names. She cowered in fear knowing that this tempest was the biggest yet, and she soaked the abuse quietly, huddled in the corner of her room hoping that is would pass as always.
This time though, her silence fueled the anger and it exploded into a fury she had never thought possible. She hadn't realized she was screaming as blow against blow came upon her, until everything blacked out, and he stormed out of the house.
She couldn't remember how long it was before she came to, but her vision was blurred and was interspersed with a sensation of a million flashlights going off at once.
Painfully, she dragged herself out of the bathroom, pausing on the floor at the door frame. She recognized bits and pieces of her phone on the floor which she assembled with shaking hands and dialled a now familiar number. The voice that answered comforted her as always and she tried to sound strong to say she needed the day off.
She knew her voice gave her away this time, and he asked,"Are you alright? You don't sound too good,".
She tried to say,"I'm fine", but the moment overwhelmed her as her pain racked body began to shudder and sobs began to take over..
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Solace
He parked the car in the basement and spent some time looking for the way into the mall. The size of the crowd bewildered him, and he felt lost trying to look for that familiar face among the sea of faces. He moved slowly, much too slowly; and the flow of people pushed and shoved him till he found himself in the courtyard decorated in many, tiny lights that twinkled like stars, and branched out into different corridors. Amidst the sea of people, he saw her, like a blood red rose in a green sea of weeds, serenity in a sea of chaos, standing there, typing a message on her phone. He walked up to her quietly, blew on her ear and grinned as she gave a startled yelp and whirled around.
“You!!”, she said, her face immediately breaking into a smile, “You spooked me!” He grinned and apologized for the cheekiness and they proceeded to dinner after meeting up the rest of the group. It was a simple affair, a meeting of friends where business was the least important matter. There were four of them, and for the first time in weeks they sat together exchanging jokes and stories. He sat next to her and found himself admiring the way she laughed and how she went through every line in the menu choosing her food. She would look up to the waiter, like a starry eyed little girl and ask all kinds of things with child-like curiosity. And she would dip her finger into every sauce and smack them off her finger with her lips.
As the night progressed, he found his fingers locked in hers on her lap. Occassionally he would find her stroking his hand with her other hand. And other times he would find himself stroking her hand.
Soon enough, dinner was over and after the usual “I’ll pay, no, I’ll pay” each parted company and went their own way, leaving him with her. They chatted a while and walked slowly to the exit. She grew quiet. Her pace slowed down the nearer they got to the exit.
She gripped his fingers in hers, placed her cheek on his arm which she stroked with her free hand. “I’m not ready to let you go,” she said, gripping his fingers even harder. “I havent had enough of you tonite”. He put his arm around her and gave her a tight squeeze.
“ I havent enough of your company either”, he said, as he walked her to her car.
She looked at him wistfully, twirling her car keys absentmindedly as they stood outside the car. He opened the door and let her in, only to get in the other side.
Once he got in, she threw her arms around him and kissed his face and held him tight. He savored the touch of her skin and the smell of her perfume. And they sat there, speaking in whispers, holding hands and in each other’s arms.
Time seemed to stop as they detached themselves from the world and lost themselves in their love, and when they realized how time had passed, the parking lot was deserted save for the cleaning crew beginning their rounds.
He stepped out of the car as she turned her engine, and with a reluctant wave, blowing a kiss towards him, she drove off slowly. He stood there in the dimming lights until she was out of sight; and he begun the long trek to his car, in the deserted basement alone, with the memory of her touch, the smell of her perfume lingering, teasing him of his loneliness.
“You!!”, she said, her face immediately breaking into a smile, “You spooked me!” He grinned and apologized for the cheekiness and they proceeded to dinner after meeting up the rest of the group. It was a simple affair, a meeting of friends where business was the least important matter. There were four of them, and for the first time in weeks they sat together exchanging jokes and stories. He sat next to her and found himself admiring the way she laughed and how she went through every line in the menu choosing her food. She would look up to the waiter, like a starry eyed little girl and ask all kinds of things with child-like curiosity. And she would dip her finger into every sauce and smack them off her finger with her lips.
As the night progressed, he found his fingers locked in hers on her lap. Occassionally he would find her stroking his hand with her other hand. And other times he would find himself stroking her hand.
Soon enough, dinner was over and after the usual “I’ll pay, no, I’ll pay” each parted company and went their own way, leaving him with her. They chatted a while and walked slowly to the exit. She grew quiet. Her pace slowed down the nearer they got to the exit.
She gripped his fingers in hers, placed her cheek on his arm which she stroked with her free hand. “I’m not ready to let you go,” she said, gripping his fingers even harder. “I havent had enough of you tonite”. He put his arm around her and gave her a tight squeeze.
“ I havent enough of your company either”, he said, as he walked her to her car.
She looked at him wistfully, twirling her car keys absentmindedly as they stood outside the car. He opened the door and let her in, only to get in the other side.
Once he got in, she threw her arms around him and kissed his face and held him tight. He savored the touch of her skin and the smell of her perfume. And they sat there, speaking in whispers, holding hands and in each other’s arms.
Time seemed to stop as they detached themselves from the world and lost themselves in their love, and when they realized how time had passed, the parking lot was deserted save for the cleaning crew beginning their rounds.
He stepped out of the car as she turned her engine, and with a reluctant wave, blowing a kiss towards him, she drove off slowly. He stood there in the dimming lights until she was out of sight; and he begun the long trek to his car, in the deserted basement alone, with the memory of her touch, the smell of her perfume lingering, teasing him of his loneliness.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Curiosity
She had just come back from a discussion and he had walked her over to her office. The elevator door had suddenly opened and people streamed out, and she had turned on her heel and gotten in. It had cut short their goodbyes, and she suddenly remembered how disappointed he had looked. As they were speaking, he had been hesitant; and he had leaned forward, his voice lowering till it was barely a whisper. She wondered if he had wanted to kiss her; but the sudden stream of people coming out of the elevator interrupted the moment and he had pressed a package into her hand and walked away. The package! She had almost forgotten about it.
It was a small white box with no markings whatsoever; and she looked at it, wondering if she should open it. The elevator was packed with people, and she wondered that the fact that he gave it so discreetly meant she should open it in private. She turned the box over and over, wondering what it contained. She sniffed it, but there wasn't any distinctive scent; and she weighed it in her hand and it didn't quite feel very heavy. Her curiosity began to fuel a sense of excitement and her mind began to wander, planting ideas and more ideas of what could be in that box. She put the box into her pocket, and she smiled at herself at all the silly things that may be in that box and patted it.
Back at her desk, she peered out to his room and saw that he still wasn't in. She took out the box and admired it, wondering what may be inside. She traced her finger on the corners of the box and she placed it on her desk. On one instance she wanted to wait until she reached home to open it, then curiosity got the better of her and she wanted to open it immediately. She giggled at herself, feeling somewhat silly at the schoolgirl excitement. She loved getting little gifts like this, and its been a long time since she received one. She again wondered what it was, and held the box against her cheek, imagining him packing little bits of diamonds and gold, kissing each little piece as he placed it into the box. She found the idea immediately silly and she felt silly once again smiling to herself. She wondered for the umpteenth time what in the world he could have gotten her.
Unable to contain herself any longer, with trembling hands she opened it. A little red velvet box, lined with gold thread, lay inside the white cardboard box. She drew it out slowly holding her breath, wondering if it was really what she thought it was. Impossible! She almost didn't want to look at the contents as she lifted the velvety lid with trembling fingers.
She let out a gasp and nearly dropped the box as she covered her mouth in surprise at what lay in the box. She laid it down on her desk and stared at it as she took a deep breath. She suddenly felt cold.
Lying in the tiny box was a string of gold, intertwined with white surrounding a huge red ruby ensconced in diamonds that exploded in a flash of rainbow being next to the ruby. She gingerly took it out and looked at it, speechless. She put it on and looked at herself from her powder compact mirror; even in the tiny mirror, it was gorgeous. She looked up as she heard his room door open, and saw him entering his room and closing the door behind him.
He had just sat in his desk and was stacking the papers on his desk when he heard a knock on his door. "Come in!" he said, without looking up. He heard the door open, and quietly close. Then there was silence. Puzzled, he looked up.
She stood there, her hands behind her against the door, not saying a word. She looked at him, smiling. Her blouse was unbuttoned, save for the lowest, and pulled apart at the shoulders, exposing her chest. And, complementing the sparkling in her eyes, awash in a flaming glow in the center of her chest, was the ruby and diamonds he had gotten her.
It was a small white box with no markings whatsoever; and she looked at it, wondering if she should open it. The elevator was packed with people, and she wondered that the fact that he gave it so discreetly meant she should open it in private. She turned the box over and over, wondering what it contained. She sniffed it, but there wasn't any distinctive scent; and she weighed it in her hand and it didn't quite feel very heavy. Her curiosity began to fuel a sense of excitement and her mind began to wander, planting ideas and more ideas of what could be in that box. She put the box into her pocket, and she smiled at herself at all the silly things that may be in that box and patted it.
Back at her desk, she peered out to his room and saw that he still wasn't in. She took out the box and admired it, wondering what may be inside. She traced her finger on the corners of the box and she placed it on her desk. On one instance she wanted to wait until she reached home to open it, then curiosity got the better of her and she wanted to open it immediately. She giggled at herself, feeling somewhat silly at the schoolgirl excitement. She loved getting little gifts like this, and its been a long time since she received one. She again wondered what it was, and held the box against her cheek, imagining him packing little bits of diamonds and gold, kissing each little piece as he placed it into the box. She found the idea immediately silly and she felt silly once again smiling to herself. She wondered for the umpteenth time what in the world he could have gotten her.
Unable to contain herself any longer, with trembling hands she opened it. A little red velvet box, lined with gold thread, lay inside the white cardboard box. She drew it out slowly holding her breath, wondering if it was really what she thought it was. Impossible! She almost didn't want to look at the contents as she lifted the velvety lid with trembling fingers.
She let out a gasp and nearly dropped the box as she covered her mouth in surprise at what lay in the box. She laid it down on her desk and stared at it as she took a deep breath. She suddenly felt cold.
Lying in the tiny box was a string of gold, intertwined with white surrounding a huge red ruby ensconced in diamonds that exploded in a flash of rainbow being next to the ruby. She gingerly took it out and looked at it, speechless. She put it on and looked at herself from her powder compact mirror; even in the tiny mirror, it was gorgeous. She looked up as she heard his room door open, and saw him entering his room and closing the door behind him.
He had just sat in his desk and was stacking the papers on his desk when he heard a knock on his door. "Come in!" he said, without looking up. He heard the door open, and quietly close. Then there was silence. Puzzled, he looked up.
She stood there, her hands behind her against the door, not saying a word. She looked at him, smiling. Her blouse was unbuttoned, save for the lowest, and pulled apart at the shoulders, exposing her chest. And, complementing the sparkling in her eyes, awash in a flaming glow in the center of her chest, was the ruby and diamonds he had gotten her.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Paradise
He sat there in the muggy evening heat, casting his eyes in the shadows of the setting sun. In the golden light, the rolling thunderclouds seemed lower than usual, almost tinged with green. Everything was still, and there was not a single sound other than the rush of water over the rocks of a nearby stream. He was tired, and the soothing rush of water began to lull his senses.
She came by, smiled and sat down next to him, clutching a small notebook in hand. She was new, but he had this sense of familiarity with her. He spent a little more time with her than the other employees, and she responded favorably and he began to look forward to these moments when she would seek him out in private and learn as much as she can from him.
They were at a company sponsored outing, and the rolling thunderclouds necessitated a change in plans from outdoor barbecue to indoor buffet. It offered him a brief respite from the day's proceedings.
They spoke about work for a while and the conversation then turned to about themselves. The growing shadows and the calming sounds of the stream relaxed them. He took her hand, and gently ushered her over, and was pleasantly surprised when ahe did not object. Their voices turned to whispers, which drew them even closer. Then, she put her head on his shoulder and he swung his arm around her and held her close, stroking her side as they spoke. He kissed her cheek, and seeing she did not mind, sat up and turned to look at her. He studied her face for a moment and stroked her cheek. He leaned forward to kiss her on the lips,but she turned her face away.
"Please, no", she said, placing her finger on his lips.
He pulled her even closer and stroked her hair. He tried to kiss her again, but this time she didn't object. She let out a gasp when their lips touched; her lips parted easily to take his tongue. He felt the softness of her lips on his and in that moment,he lost all sense of himself and drowned himself in the moment.He kissed her over and over savoring every kiss, feeling her breath on his face, hot and moist. Her every moan as he stroked her back with long, broad strokes submerged him deeper into the moment.
A sudden thunderclap knocked him into his senses and he suddenly sat upright, realizing how far he'd gone with her. She looked away from him, biting her lower lip. He touched her face. "Are you ok?", he asked.
"yeah," she replied, still looking away."I've been wondering what's its like to kiss you for so long now,... I.. I know now.."
He pulled her close to him and kissed her one last time. "Hush.. shh.. Its ok..Please don't feel bad. I really.. I shouldn't have.."
She weakly pushed him away and sat upright facing away from him never once looking at him. He felt perplexed.He hard not meant to go so fur, but his desire for her had taken over him. He stood up and held her shoulders and looked into her eyes. He resisted the urge to kiss her again and instead wiped the little tear drops beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.
"I'm really sorry", he said. "I really like you a lot. And sometimes when I'm with you, I don't quite know how to control my self.I dont want to hurt you.I just need to know that you're ok."
"I'd better go," she said, and walked away.
In the waning light, he stood there and watched as her figure disappeared into the shadows.
She came by, smiled and sat down next to him, clutching a small notebook in hand. She was new, but he had this sense of familiarity with her. He spent a little more time with her than the other employees, and she responded favorably and he began to look forward to these moments when she would seek him out in private and learn as much as she can from him.
They were at a company sponsored outing, and the rolling thunderclouds necessitated a change in plans from outdoor barbecue to indoor buffet. It offered him a brief respite from the day's proceedings.
They spoke about work for a while and the conversation then turned to about themselves. The growing shadows and the calming sounds of the stream relaxed them. He took her hand, and gently ushered her over, and was pleasantly surprised when ahe did not object. Their voices turned to whispers, which drew them even closer. Then, she put her head on his shoulder and he swung his arm around her and held her close, stroking her side as they spoke. He kissed her cheek, and seeing she did not mind, sat up and turned to look at her. He studied her face for a moment and stroked her cheek. He leaned forward to kiss her on the lips,but she turned her face away.
"Please, no", she said, placing her finger on his lips.
He pulled her even closer and stroked her hair. He tried to kiss her again, but this time she didn't object. She let out a gasp when their lips touched; her lips parted easily to take his tongue. He felt the softness of her lips on his and in that moment,he lost all sense of himself and drowned himself in the moment.He kissed her over and over savoring every kiss, feeling her breath on his face, hot and moist. Her every moan as he stroked her back with long, broad strokes submerged him deeper into the moment.
A sudden thunderclap knocked him into his senses and he suddenly sat upright, realizing how far he'd gone with her. She looked away from him, biting her lower lip. He touched her face. "Are you ok?", he asked.
"yeah," she replied, still looking away."I've been wondering what's its like to kiss you for so long now,... I.. I know now.."
He pulled her close to him and kissed her one last time. "Hush.. shh.. Its ok..Please don't feel bad. I really.. I shouldn't have.."
She weakly pushed him away and sat upright facing away from him never once looking at him. He felt perplexed.He hard not meant to go so fur, but his desire for her had taken over him. He stood up and held her shoulders and looked into her eyes. He resisted the urge to kiss her again and instead wiped the little tear drops beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.
"I'm really sorry", he said. "I really like you a lot. And sometimes when I'm with you, I don't quite know how to control my self.I dont want to hurt you.I just need to know that you're ok."
"I'd better go," she said, and walked away.
In the waning light, he stood there and watched as her figure disappeared into the shadows.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Darkness
He sat up in his bed, yet again after countless nights. He rubbed his sleep deprived eyes and squinted in the dark. He heard the faint barking of dogs and the distant roar of the midnight racers, and he got up, looked out the window and stretched. He took a deep breath that filled his lungs to the brim and let it out slowly. He was tired, but yet again, sleep eluded him.
He walked out to the living room, found his pc and fired it up. As he'd always done in recent weeks, he'd get tired of trying to sleep and check his many e-mail accounts, social sites for that message. This time he knew already that each account would be filled with nothing but spam, and the particular message he'd look for would still not be there. He saw the numbers of new mail begin to climb, but he didn't really pay attention since he knew that it wouldn't be any more than discount drug offers, friend requests and fake order confirmations.
He was about to close the lid of his notebook pc when in the corner of his eye, he caught her name amongst the list of senders. His heart began to beat harder when he realized that she had finally replied to all his tweets and e- mails. His mind went back to the moment when he felt her breath on his neck, the touch of her hand on his skin; how her warm flesh felt against him. And he had taken her in his arms, her body warm and soft against his, and she had suddenly pushed him away just as he began to savor the moment and realized that as much as he wanted her, she felt the same. He quickly opened the mail, and almost immediately his heart began to sink as he read what she had written.
"Dearest", she said, "I dont know how to say this to you. From the moment we met, there was something about you that attracted me to you. And even though I realize that we are colleagues, I have always looked forward to spending time with you. Every moment, no matter how small, every touch, no matter how fleeting, gives me a feeling of completeness that I have never felt before. Every time I set foot here, I look forward to spending the day with you. And from every goodbye till the next hello, I feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness, like a part of me has been ripped off and taken away. And it continues like that until the next moment when I see you again, and every burden I have is forgotten, every fear resolved until the next goodbye. And this desire to be with you has passed beyond all boundaries of reason, and when I am with you, I no longer can control my every desire to be with you. I long to feel your every touch, the warmth of your flesh, the smell of your skin, the feel of your breath, and the taste of your lips. And I've let you on into thinking that this can last forever, but it cannot, because you are not mine, and neither is my heart yours to have. I cannot anymore face this contradiction, I have nothing but guilt for the man who holds my heart. My life has never felt so complete with you by my side, yet the truth is that just as you belong to someone else, so do I. This cannot last forever, and I'd rather hurt you now than to hurt you when its too late."
He felt a quiver in his chest as dismay filled his heart. He fought the welling of emotion as he buried his face in his hands.
She continued," Dearest, I want you to know that I love you. I've loved you all this while, I love you now, and I will always love you. You brought me light when there is darkness, you brought me warmth when there is cold; and you are the shelter when there is rain. This turmoil in my heart can only tear us apart, so please understand, its only better that we end it this way. "
"Farewell, my love, may sunshine remind you of our love"
He walked out to the living room, found his pc and fired it up. As he'd always done in recent weeks, he'd get tired of trying to sleep and check his many e-mail accounts, social sites for that message. This time he knew already that each account would be filled with nothing but spam, and the particular message he'd look for would still not be there. He saw the numbers of new mail begin to climb, but he didn't really pay attention since he knew that it wouldn't be any more than discount drug offers, friend requests and fake order confirmations.
He was about to close the lid of his notebook pc when in the corner of his eye, he caught her name amongst the list of senders. His heart began to beat harder when he realized that she had finally replied to all his tweets and e- mails. His mind went back to the moment when he felt her breath on his neck, the touch of her hand on his skin; how her warm flesh felt against him. And he had taken her in his arms, her body warm and soft against his, and she had suddenly pushed him away just as he began to savor the moment and realized that as much as he wanted her, she felt the same. He quickly opened the mail, and almost immediately his heart began to sink as he read what she had written.
"Dearest", she said, "I dont know how to say this to you. From the moment we met, there was something about you that attracted me to you. And even though I realize that we are colleagues, I have always looked forward to spending time with you. Every moment, no matter how small, every touch, no matter how fleeting, gives me a feeling of completeness that I have never felt before. Every time I set foot here, I look forward to spending the day with you. And from every goodbye till the next hello, I feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness, like a part of me has been ripped off and taken away. And it continues like that until the next moment when I see you again, and every burden I have is forgotten, every fear resolved until the next goodbye. And this desire to be with you has passed beyond all boundaries of reason, and when I am with you, I no longer can control my every desire to be with you. I long to feel your every touch, the warmth of your flesh, the smell of your skin, the feel of your breath, and the taste of your lips. And I've let you on into thinking that this can last forever, but it cannot, because you are not mine, and neither is my heart yours to have. I cannot anymore face this contradiction, I have nothing but guilt for the man who holds my heart. My life has never felt so complete with you by my side, yet the truth is that just as you belong to someone else, so do I. This cannot last forever, and I'd rather hurt you now than to hurt you when its too late."
He felt a quiver in his chest as dismay filled his heart. He fought the welling of emotion as he buried his face in his hands.
She continued," Dearest, I want you to know that I love you. I've loved you all this while, I love you now, and I will always love you. You brought me light when there is darkness, you brought me warmth when there is cold; and you are the shelter when there is rain. This turmoil in my heart can only tear us apart, so please understand, its only better that we end it this way. "
"Farewell, my love, may sunshine remind you of our love"
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Desire
These days things had been just as crazy at the office as it always had been, but he faced them with with fervor. Since the episode at the lift, he had a spring in his step; and he'd been looking forward to seeing her. Her weekend trip had extended to mid- week, and in the rush to catch up what's behind, they've had few if not little opportunity to meet.
In the intervening days, he'd had urgent assignments that's kept him busy punching the keyboard at his desk or locked away in meetings elsewhere. Not being able to see her in person, he'd resorted to sending smileys and text messages despite not getting any replies.
Until today. They'd met at the cafeteria at the end of the workday by chance and decided to sit together. He once again relaxed in her company and they chatted about the trip, the things that needed to be done and all. Things went silent for a moment when he suddenly said,"I've missed you..". She looked away from his gaze, down to her mug of hot
chocolate. Her finger tracing the rim of her mug, she whispered quietly, "I missed u too."
"I wish we could be alone," he said, wistfully.
She suddenly looked up, looked around and changed the topic. He guessed that she'd probably not want to talk about it so he let it be. He suddenly regretted sending all those text messages and felt rather silly to keep sending them even though she
had not replied.
They spoke about work a bit more, then packed up and walked back silently to their office. It was past closing time, and the office was deserted.
She had followed him to his office, and stood at the door as he sat down and turned his attention to the computer screen. He had muttered something about having to finish his report and heard her say something in response, heard the door click and assumed that she'd left him to his work.
As he focused on the screen, he felt someone come near. Her breath was hot, measured and heavy in his ear. She placed her hand over his knuckles and curled her fingers below, against his palm. Instinctively he tightened his fingers around hers, fighting the sudden rush in his chest as he felt her lips behind his ear. He held his breath, straightened up and arched his back, the desire beginning to burn as she stoked it with soft, warm kisses, alternating with gentle nibbling of his ear, and brushing of her lips just behind his ear, and down his neck.
He turned his seat around and stood up to face her. He pressed his lips againsts hers, feeling it soft and warm as he stroked her back. She pressed her body against his, her fingers in his hair and stroking his face, as she rubbed her body against him. He stroked her ear with his tongue, rolling her earring in his mouth and kissed her neck, her breath heavy in his ears as he ran his fingers from her ear, down her neck, tracing her collar bone to the button on her blouse. There she caught his finger and pushed herself away.
Surprised, he stood there, wondering if he'd read her wrong. She turned away from his gaze, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm sorry.. I..I.. didn't mean to..", she said, looking away. Then she turned away and hurried out of his office.
In the intervening days, he'd had urgent assignments that's kept him busy punching the keyboard at his desk or locked away in meetings elsewhere. Not being able to see her in person, he'd resorted to sending smileys and text messages despite not getting any replies.
Until today. They'd met at the cafeteria at the end of the workday by chance and decided to sit together. He once again relaxed in her company and they chatted about the trip, the things that needed to be done and all. Things went silent for a moment when he suddenly said,"I've missed you..". She looked away from his gaze, down to her mug of hot
chocolate. Her finger tracing the rim of her mug, she whispered quietly, "I missed u too."
"I wish we could be alone," he said, wistfully.
She suddenly looked up, looked around and changed the topic. He guessed that she'd probably not want to talk about it so he let it be. He suddenly regretted sending all those text messages and felt rather silly to keep sending them even though she
had not replied.
They spoke about work a bit more, then packed up and walked back silently to their office. It was past closing time, and the office was deserted.
She had followed him to his office, and stood at the door as he sat down and turned his attention to the computer screen. He had muttered something about having to finish his report and heard her say something in response, heard the door click and assumed that she'd left him to his work.
As he focused on the screen, he felt someone come near. Her breath was hot, measured and heavy in his ear. She placed her hand over his knuckles and curled her fingers below, against his palm. Instinctively he tightened his fingers around hers, fighting the sudden rush in his chest as he felt her lips behind his ear. He held his breath, straightened up and arched his back, the desire beginning to burn as she stoked it with soft, warm kisses, alternating with gentle nibbling of his ear, and brushing of her lips just behind his ear, and down his neck.
He turned his seat around and stood up to face her. He pressed his lips againsts hers, feeling it soft and warm as he stroked her back. She pressed her body against his, her fingers in his hair and stroking his face, as she rubbed her body against him. He stroked her ear with his tongue, rolling her earring in his mouth and kissed her neck, her breath heavy in his ears as he ran his fingers from her ear, down her neck, tracing her collar bone to the button on her blouse. There she caught his finger and pushed herself away.
Surprised, he stood there, wondering if he'd read her wrong. She turned away from his gaze, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm sorry.. I..I.. didn't mean to..", she said, looking away. Then she turned away and hurried out of his office.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
