Darkness

He sat up in his bed, yet again after countless nights. He rubbed his sleep deprived eyes and squinted in the dark. He heard the faint barking of dogs and the distant roar of the midnight racers, and he got up, looked out the window and stretched. He took a deep breath that filled his lungs to the brim and let it out slowly. He was tired, but yet again, sleep eluded him.
He walked out to the living room, found his pc and fired it up. As he'd always done in recent weeks, he'd get tired of trying to sleep and check his many e-mail accounts, social sites for that message. This time he knew already that each account would be filled with nothing but spam, and the particular message he'd look for would still not be there. He saw the numbers of new mail begin to climb, but he didn't really pay attention since he knew that it wouldn't be any more than discount drug offers, friend requests and fake order confirmations.
He was about to close the lid of his notebook pc when in the corner of his eye, he caught her name amongst the list of senders. His heart began to beat harder when he realized that she had finally replied to all his tweets and e- mails. His mind went back to the moment when he felt her breath on his neck, the touch of her hand on his skin; how her warm flesh felt against him. And he had taken her in his arms, her body warm and soft against his, and she had suddenly pushed him away just as he began to savor the moment and realized that as much as he wanted her, she felt the same. He quickly opened the mail, and almost immediately his heart began to sink as he read what she had written.
"Dearest", she said, "I dont know how to say this to you. From the moment we met, there was something about you that attracted me to you. And even though I realize that we are colleagues, I have always looked forward to spending time with you. Every moment, no matter how small, every touch, no matter how fleeting, gives me a feeling of completeness that I have never felt before. Every time I set foot here, I look forward to spending the day with you. And from every goodbye till the next hello, I feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness, like a part of me has been ripped off and taken away. And it continues like that until the next moment when I see you again, and every burden I have is forgotten, every fear resolved until the next goodbye. And this desire to be with you has passed beyond all boundaries of reason, and when I am with you, I no longer can control my every desire to be with you. I long to feel your every touch, the warmth of your flesh, the smell of your skin, the feel of your breath, and the taste of your lips. And I've let you on into thinking that this can last forever, but it cannot, because you are not mine, and neither is my heart yours to have. I cannot anymore face this contradiction, I have nothing but guilt for the man who holds my heart. My life has never felt so complete with you by my side, yet the truth is that just as you belong to someone else, so do I. This cannot last forever, and I'd rather hurt you now than to hurt you when its too late."

He felt a quiver in his chest as dismay filled his heart. He fought the welling of emotion as he buried his face in his hands.

She continued," Dearest, I want you to know that I love you. I've loved you all this while, I love you now, and I will always love you. You brought me light when there is darkness, you brought me warmth when there is cold; and you are the shelter when there is rain. This turmoil in my heart can only tear us apart, so please understand, its only better that we end it this way. "

"Farewell, my love, may sunshine remind you of our love"